Experiments of a Brainiac
by emrysmile
Summary: The incredible experiments and day-to-day scientifical adventures of young Donatello Hamato. Please do not try any of these experiments yourself.
1. Pop Tarts

**Experiments of a Brainiac**

**Experiment 001:** Pop Tarts  
**Danger Factor:** 7/10 (hot jam hurts!)  
**Results: **Negative  
**Scientists Notes:** _I don't think Master Splinter likes pop tarts, cause he looked really mad when he came in the kitchen…_

* * *

Donatello was a genius.

Well, of course he was always smart, but today he was extra clever and so he was definitely a genius now.

All day long his little (annoying) brother Michelangelo had been trailing around after him, getting in his way when he reached for a book, standing _much_ too close when Donatello turned around with a candle he was taking to Sensei which resulted in a stealthy dash to the first aid kit, and constantly talking! Even now Don could hear the incessant nattering of his baby brother, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't seem to focus on the words that gushed from Mikey's mouth. Rather, he heard a garbled stream of sounds that vaguely resembled a conversation about… monster trucks? Forcefully Donatello shook his head and cleared Mikey's voice from between his ears for long enough to immerse himself in the thick tome in his lap once more. Just as he reached a particularly interesting section on the solar system that enraptured Donnie with its dazzling pictures of beautiful planets, the brainy turtle suddenly found his ears invaded with noise… again.

"Donniiiieeee, I'm hungry!" Squeezing his eyes shut tight Don wondered if maybe Mikey would just disappear but when he opened his onyx eyes to the world again he found Mikey's light blue eyes staring straight back, shining brightly in a sea of citrus orange.

"If I get you food will you promise to go bug someone else for the rest of the day?" Mike nodded enthusiastically – perhaps this had been his plan all along?

"Fine, but remember you _promised!_" As Donatello trudged towards the kitchen on legs dead from being pressed under a heavy book all night he heard Mikey shout behind him.

"Pop tarts bro!" _He's your brother, murder is illegal. He's your brother, murder is illegal. _Now inside the kitchen Donatello relaxed slightly, away from his little brother's never ending voice. But it was only then that he remembered seeing Raph messily gobbling down the last pop tart…

Donatello scrunched up his beak and turned his eyes to the sky…uh, ceiling, as he thought deeply. He was nothing if not resourceful. Finally he struck gold and Don was sure that had he been a cartoon a light bulb would be blinking brightly over his head (but that was ridiculous of course!). Clambering sloppily onto the worktop Donnie snatched two pieces of bread from the loaf Master Splinter had found, before grabbing the half empty pot of thick strawberry jam and squishing it between the slices. Sliding his creation into a toaster slot Donatello waited patiently, swinging his legs to and fro from the edge of the counter. Off in his own world, dreaming up inventions that may never come to be real, Donatello didn't register the light grey smoke that trailed past his beak, or hear the unnatural clicking sounds coming from the toaster…

BANG!

Don blinked slowly. And then blinked again. The entire room was filled with wispy grey smoke; his small six year old body was dusted with soot and splattered with gloopy red jam. Beside him the toaster lay in ruins, scraps of metal twisted into all manner of shapes.

Panic in his eyes and his tail swishing nervously Master Splinter scurried into the room, whose eyes quickly soaked in the sight spread out in front of him before they filled with annoyance and he stared expectantly at his 'brightest' son, who grinned back innocently. The smile drooped when Master Splinter's gaze did not falter.

"…Mikey wanted pop tarts."

Because of course, that explained everything.

* * *

_**Small A/N**__: It has been ridiculously long since I've posted. I hope it didn't disappoint. ^^_


	2. Vital DNA

**Experiments of a Brainiac**

**Experiment 002:** Vital DNA  
**Danger Factor:** 5/10 (for highly volatile Raphie's)  
**Results: **Positive  
**Scientists Notes: **_Science has all the answers but some answers can be really, __**really**__, annoying! Especially when Mikey is the test subject…_

* * *

"No! This is treachery, treachery I say! I'll have social services on you, no, the FBI, no wait, the MIB! Oh that would be so cool!" A dark green hand slapped over the incessantly babbling mouth. Raphael quickly received grateful looks from both Leo and Don.

Approaching his squirming younger brother, syringe in hand, Donatello repressed the urge to be unbearably cruel and pretend to be a mad scientist after Mikey's soul or some over fantastical tale Mikey could cook up. Instead his irksome older brother instincts kicked in and he found himself soothing the orange-masked turtle.

"Relax Mikey, it'll pinch for a second and that'll be all okay?" Not waiting for an answer Donatello knelt beside Raphael (who along with Leonardo was pinning the youngest of the clan to the floor) and keeping a firm grip on his little brothers elbow sunk the needle into Mikey's arm.

The dark crimson blood quickly filled the tube and he removed the needle, fleeing to his lab and leaving the not so pleasant aftermath to his older brothers.

Even with his headphones pumping Poison's Talk Dirty to Me into his ears, Mikey's angry yells and battle cries still invaded his sound waves.

* * *

Three days later Donatello hesitantly sat down at the breakfast table beside Michelangelo, whom he had quickly won over yesterday by presenting him with his fixed walkman and Playstation. In his three fingered hand he clutched a crumpled sheet of paper and over his bowl of Cheerio's he sent meaningful glances to Leonardo and Raphael.

Finally, when Michelangelo wandered off to play on his newly repaired (and obnoxiously loud) Playstation, The two oldest turtles scrambled over to hear the news.

"Well, what did you find out?"

"Is it good?"

"Is it gonna be okay?"

Donatello drew in a shuddering breath. Their hopeful faces broke his heart a little but he couldn't lie, deep down they had always known the truth.

"I'm sorry guys. Michelangelo… is definitely of blood relation to us."

Almost comically Leo and Raph's green faces paled and as one the three brothers turned to watch through the open doorway as Mikey danced over the couch in victory of his battle against the evil dragon overlord.

"God help us all."


End file.
